the thoughts of an almost sixteen year old

I'm sitting here enjoying my last few moments of being a fifteen year old.  Taylor Swift is serenading me, sing songs about love and being fifteen while Adam Young and Matthew Perryman Jones wait in the wings. Life is so short.

I'm half way to 32, one fourth of the way to 68, and one eighth of the way to 128. I don't believe I'll ever make it to 128. In fact I rather doubt it. Sure, I'd love to live to be 128, the oldest human alive, but it's not appealing. I'd rather be cropped down in my prime then wither away and die. That's one reason I wouldn't want to know if I had cancer... but on to another subject please.  All this talk about death is quiet morbid I think. Especially for a birthday girl.

I've lived sixteen years, and changed so much during them.

I used to be a shy wisp of a girl, who was afraid to speak in public and eat meat. I used to be a girl who hated many people, especially those who weren't like me or those who were too much like me. I used to be a girl who had severe stage fright. I used to be a girl who hated to write more than three sentences, and actually dreaded the whole task of writing. I used to be a little girl in a lost world, without the light of the Savior. 

Now at sixteen, I'm bold. I have a sinking feeling God is going to use me as a leader some day (or maybe even today). I'll talk to people. Sure. I actually love talking to people. I'm still afraid to talk to the people at the Check-out counter sometimes, and you know half the time I make someone else order my food for me.  But I've gotten a lot better. 

Oh and meat. I eat it now. Except for pork. It still creeps me out. 

I'm trying my best to love everyone. Lord knows I fail many times. But those people I hated so long ago, I'm best friends with.  They encourage me so much in Our Lord Jesus Christ.  I thank God for them everyday.  He's blessed me with great friends. If any of you are reading this, I just want to say, 

"I love you. Keep on keeping on for the Lord. And all of you are going to do wonderful things for the Lord someday."

So that girl with stage fright? She's now in a musical, a major musical. Every time she thinks of it she goes back to the day where her friends; Hannah, Lillie,Ryan, and Lauren, convinced her to audition for the homeschool play. She did so. And with much fear she played the part of the Faerie Godmother in Cinderella. Now she's hooked. She's played the lead in several school plays and is attempting her first musical, Miracle on 34th Street.  She's a clerk in Macy's.

I'm now not afraid to write more than three sentences. Next month will be my third attempt at writing a book in a month. All the other times I wrote half a book. This year I'm determined to write the end, even if it's half a book then the end. My goal is 25,000 words. I reached it this summer by panting and dragging my way there. But I'm determined to get there in good shape this time, and perhaps breeze by it.

I now know my Savior. He's a wonderful part of my life.  I'm so thankful for Him and all the opportunities He's given me.
Just recently my family has switched churches.  We left our home church to become "missionaries" for a dying church.  At first I was excited, but then I grew timid.  I was afraid to leave my friends, I was afraid they might forget me.  I didn't want to follow God's plan if it hurt my comfort.  But I followed Him anyway.  It's really enjoyable there. I'm so much closer with my Sunday School group there then I was at the main campus. It's a lot smaller and we have more one on one time with each other. (I went from a SS class of 30 to one of 9) I think now the Devil was just trying to get me to back out. He doesn't want anyone to do great things for God.
But I do.

I want to thank any of you who've read on until the end.  It's been a menagerie of thoughts.  I want to close this post with a Bible verse that has been on my mind lately. 

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰ so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11

Thanks. I love you all. And may my 16th year be full of God and His blessings.